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Be honest about your own discomfort. You shouldn't pretend that you're all fine and dandy with talking freely about this subject. Shedding embarrassment takes time. Explain to your child that you were brought up in a manner where such things were hushed. An environment where you learned to be embarrassed and uncomfortable. This honesty lets children know their own discomfort is OK and acceptable. What's important is the recognition that such body shame doesn't have to exist, and the mutual acknowledgement that everyone is going to join the fight against these shameful beliefs.
Provide your children with age-appropriate books that deal with sexuality or the parts of the body. We have several resources available on our website, and the library is another great source for books about the body. Books are a great way to bridge the gap. Hearing others talk openly and honesly about their bodies through books is a start to getting your own child more comfortable about themselves in front of others.
With older children, including teens, a great way to reverse shameful attitudes and start them down the right path towards body comfort is by encouraging them to help promote such concepts with younger siblings. Changing diapers, giving younger siblings a bath, helping them get dressed; all these things provide great opportunities for discussion and promotion of healthy body attitudes. When older kids hear you talking freely about the sexual organs and encouraging healthy body attitudes with the little ones, they will also start to open up. Consider giving older kids the job of helping their younger siblings learn about their body, by reading them our body books or helping them with the worksheets. It's a great way to open up the subject to older kids who may have already missed the prime window for developing without body shame.
Read books yourself. Hopefully by now we've impressed upon the huge influence you have on your children. As such, it's virtually impossible to promote a sexually healthy environment for your child while holding onto your own body shame in the process. So one of the best ways to help your children is to help yourself. There are many books available that address sexual shame and sexually healthy attitudes. A list is included in our appendix, and many of them are even available through your local library. We encourage you to take full advantage of them. The more books YOU read and the more YOU immerse yourself in healthy body perspectives, the better a parent you'll be to your child.
You don't need to be active nudists yourselves to promote a healthy attitude towards nudity. Another great way is to keep books around which depict the human form or contain artistic nudes. There's no reason a book of pictures on the human form can't adorn the bookshelf next to the encyclopedias, or a picture book of places in the world. It isn't pornography. It isn't inappropriate. It encourages an environment where the bodies us humans were created with are just another aspect of daily life. It sends a strong positive message to children, and can be beneficial in numerous ways. It provides a tool for discussion. It allows children to explore their curiosity. It let kids know that the body doesn't have to be embarrassing. It destigmatizes nudity, which removes the shame and shock value that sexual abuse might possess. Don't force it upon kids, but keep such things around the house in places that children can readily access, and let them know its there.
Promote your child's body as beautiful. Compliment your child's body and give them praise about their features just the same as you would praise a child for completing their homework or doing their chores. Positive feedback for a child's physical self is every bit as important as is positive feedback on a child's behavior. start this positive feedback early.
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