Raising a sexually healthy child

RAISING A SEXUALLY HEALTHY CHILD

It may be surprising for some to find that an organization which works to fight abuse also actively advocates that you raise your children in a free going, relaxed nature concerning sexual issues. After all, conventional wisdom is that you lock your child up with bolt and key to protect them from any harm. As we're about to show you, conventional wisdom can be DEAD WRONG.

The reality is that for decades now, experts have advocated that children be raised in a sexually healthy manner. Yet few seem to be listening. Every day that goes by we seem as a society to be marching further in the wrong direction. Since the subject of sexual abuse was more or less "discovered" in the 1970's, there has been a steady push to criminalize and stigmatize sexual behavior, especially when it comes to kids. It all started out with noble intentions-cases of 5-year-olds being repeatedly raped, fathers forcing themselves onto their children, or adults turning kids into sex slaves; this all caught our attention and prompted action. But since then, things have gone astray ... with disastrous outcomes.

In society's attempt to prevent sexual abuse, they've focused on the "sexual" part and forgot the key word: Abuse. Children are born with an active sexual instinct, and are prone to a variety of self-initiated sexual behaviors. No matter how much adults bury their heads in the sand about this or wish it were otherwise, it doesn't go away. Sexual behavior is a part of human instinct, and it's a part of that little organism you are charged with raising. When sexual instinct or sexual behaviors are suppressed, shunned, shamed, devilified, scolded, regarded as dirty or evil and so on, it's every bit as abusive as when an adult attacks a child physically, verbally, or sexually.

It's important that parents understand just how important this issue really is. With that in mind, we wanted to start out with 5 very good reasons to raise a sexually healthy child:

1. To protect them

Children who are raised in a sexually healthy manner harbor no body shame, and so they are perfectly comfortable talking about their penis/ vulva just as easily as they would their fingers or toes. As a result, they make poor secret keepers to someone who might abuse them. Raising a free going, open child doesn't invite abuse, it protects them from it. Read more . . .

2. To prevent future turmoil

Darn near all the damage from sexual abuse, should it happen, has little to do with the actual acts, and everything to do with the shameful and harmful ways in which a child is taught to interpret them. Raising a sexually healthy child ensures that no matter what occurs, your child can be spared any lasting harm. Read more . . .

3. For their emotional health

Most parents go out of their way to burden their kids with the same body shame they were burdened with as youngsters. Kids are scolded for touching themselves, shamed if they go without clothes, and taught to feel embarrassed about the body that God (or nature, depending on your viewpoint) endowed them with. However, such attitudes are A) Unnecessary, and B) Very likely to lead to both short and long-term psychological and emotional harm. In other words, SUCH ACTIONS FIT WITHIN THE VERY DEFINITION OF CHILD ABUSE! It's a silent and popular abuse epidemic, and it may be socially accepted, but this sexual neurosis can harm a child far more in the long-term than the molestations parents fear. Read more . . .

4. Because it's your job

Most parents shirk off the responsibility of sexual education with their child. It's either ignored completely, or relegated to uncomfortable talks at a time when the parental influence is waning and kids are already consumed by raging hormones and sexual desire. This, put quite frankly, is neglectful. A parent's job is to educate and guide their child about life, so until babies are made in test-tubes and humans lose all desire to be intimate with each other, sexuality is part of that education you're in charge of. Sex should be talked about early and often, discussed as the ordinary part of life it is, not left to uncomfortable and ineffective talks as your child enters adolescence. Read more . . .

5. Because it's natural

Sexual instinct is a naturally occurring behavior that manifests itself in a variety of different ways, in people of all ages. When we stigmatize sexual behavior, we stigmatize a large part of our natural humanity. Just as if you encouraged a child to be ashamed of their eyes or hair color or skin color, stigmatizing what is a natural part of them is a harmful behavior which is sure to lead to future damage for years to come. It's child abuse. Like it or not, the reality is that sexual behavior is something naturally observed in old and young alike. Research has shown that preschoolers routinely masturbate, engage in sex play, and seek to explore the bodies of the opposite sex. Kids begin getting crushes at around age 4 or 5 and continue to be stricken with them periodically throughout childhood. Researchers have even documented fetuses masturbating inside the womb. Such evidence raises a legitimate philosophical question we ask you to ponder: Which is it? Is the God who lovingly created us perverting our fetuses and driving our preschoolers into 'sin,' or could it be that we are the ones perverting sexuality and defacing what was meant to be a natural, basic part of human behavior? Read more . . .