The Psychology of Abuse 2 of 6

considered more socially acceptable than sexual expression, despite the obvious reversal of natural roles this entails. (Slater, 1976; It is a reversal in that sexuality by design is meant to be enriching, pleasurable, and a general form of human affection, whereas violence is destructive and an act of aggression.) Silly as it may seem on paper, because of this added significance, we continue to regard sexuality as a destructive force. Yet around the world, there are many societies in which sexual acceptance and permissiveness in children is the norm, and so unless an experience involves pain or force, there is no destructive meaning ascribed to such experiences, since the ideologies are different. (Ford & Beach, 1951) As psychologists Anne V. Gormly & David Brodzinsky (1993, p. 6) state: "often we may not be aware of the extent to which our culture has shaped our experiences."

Yet shape it does, and cultural factors play a prominent role; both in how a child may respond to such experiences and also in determining to a large extent what harm (if any) will come about because of it. There are many powerful cultural forces which play a predominant role in the psychology of abuse:

1. Religion: If you believe God considers our sexual nature to be a shameful, sinful, and dirty thing; or if your church teaches you that a girl must be sexually "pure" in order for any man to desire her, then naturally, these beliefs will make sexual experiences more destructive and sinister in nature.

2. Family type/style: Children who come from single parent households are more likely to seek and embrace sexual affection from a person of the missing parent's sex. Individual family philosophies/beliefs also play a large role, as children absorb the very way of responding to life issues that their parents model.

3. Cultural attitudes: Feeling like an outcast or being subjected to social stigmatization is no fun for anyone, and so depending upon cultural attitudes, the harm from an experience can be either greatly enhanced or non-existent.

4. Media influences: If you're told in every television show that certain experiences are horrific, life-altering and insurmountable events, these beliefs will become your own and will result in very real turmoil and psychological harm, despite it being a belief system without merit and one that is bred into existence entirely by cultural factors.

5. Peers: Peers are generally the standard upon which we measure ourselves to. So the things they say and do, the opinions they hold, can play an important role in both how the child responds and their interpretation of the event.

The Sexual Nature of Children

It's the unspoken truth; a realization that few ever talk about but that virtually everyone who has ever worked with children recognizes: children are sexual beings. And they display this sexual nature right from the start. Research shows that from birth boys get erections, and girls display vaginal arousal symptoms and experience clitoral erection. (Kinsey et al., 1953; 1957; Langfeldt, 1981) In fact, research has even revealed that fetuses are prone to masturbation inside the womb. (Meizner, 1987) Both boys and girls are capable of experiencing sexual pleasure and orgasm through genital stimulation from their earliest years of life. (Kinsey et al., 1953; 1957; Langfeldt, 1981b; Broderick & Fowler, 1961)

During a child's earliest years of life, sexual nature is largely hidden from parental awareness. Freud (1990) argued that during these years the sexual instinct was directed towards oral instincts, and thus, what was sexual in nature was disguised through means of oral gratification, such as breastfeeding and oral exploration. (This assertion seems silly to many parents, yet biologically and physiologically the argument does have a certain degree of merit.) Another hypothesis we would put forth is that for the first three years of life, everything in the world is so new and there is so much to be mastered, that the sexual instinct takes a back seat to the sensory overload a child experiences throughout the world at large. Evidence for this is backed up by the fact that