Cognitive therapy aims to correct these flaws. Most people spend an enormous amount of time and energy in a vain attempt to attain contentment by trying to control the outside world or the actions of others, never realizing that happiness and contentment is achieved from within. Good mental health resides in what you do, not in what others do to you or your child. All mental health problems are a problem of thought more than a problem of events. Of course, adverse events can certainly contribute to our tendency for anxiety, depression, or other problems. But if we intercede in proper ways, we can disrupt this pattern and restore a positive psychology to ourselves and our children. As Ellis & Harper (1961) go on to point out, "Extreme sorrow and unhappiness, however, do not equal depression, despair, shame, or self-downing. So you can legitimately distinguish the former from the latter negative feelings. Even ninety-nine percent unhappiness may not equal one percent depression."
The lesson is that your child's happiness, along with their overall welfare, has nothing to do with what happens to them. It's about how they learn to respond to these adverse events which make or break their welfare. It takes both an unhealthy experience and an unhealthy response or emotional climate for that action to create a persisting wound.