Strangers and code words

If a stranger approaches them

The best way to keep safe in the event of an attempted stranger abduction, is simply to stay away to begin with. Teach children what to do in the event that a stranger approaches them:

From a car...

·	Keep away from the car. Never walk to the window or get closer to talk to the person, no matter what he or she says. Stay as far away from the car as you can.

·	Decline the persons offer. If you are close to home or a friends house, go there and tell someone what happened.

·	If you are away from home, go into a business and tell them what is happening. If there are no businesses around, start running in the opposite direction while yelling “Help, stranger!” As a last resort you could go to any house and scream for help.

·	Call the police.

If approached on foot...

·	Decline the offer. Never do anything a stranger invites you to do.

·	Start walking to the adult you are with or to the area with the most people, staying as far away from the person who approached you as you can. You could also shout out “mom!” and start running in that direction even if she isn’t there.

·	Have someone call the police.

Teach children that if they ever feel as though they are in danger, they shouldn’t hesitate to run. Tell them to run to a friend’s house, business, or if they are in immediate danger, they can go into any house and scream for help. (Explain to them the difference between them going to a stranger for help and a stranger coming to them.)

Tell children that if they are ever grabbed by an assailant, they should scream “Stranger! Let go of me” or “Stranger, don’t touch me like that!” or “Stranger, don’t touch me there!”. They should try biting, kicking, screaming, poking in the eyes, grabbing onto anything they can, anything to try to get away or keep the person from taking them.

Code Words

A code word is often used by some to serve as a password to identify the person as the one that is ok to go with. We do not endorse the use of code words for the following reasons: Although they have been shown to work before, there are many other effective means to deal with a potential abductor that are far safer.

Children sometimes forget their code word. They will ask for it, but go with whatever the person says because they forget their code word. There have also been times where it seems an abductor has been successful in guessing the code word. When children come up with code words to use, it is often a favorite food, a favorite animal, or other child favorite. It is not as foolproof as one might suspect.

Most importantly, there is no reason for code words. Unless you make a habit of constantly having other children come to pick up your child without telling them about it first, code words are unnecessary. Children should not be giving any extra time to a potential abductor by standing there asking for a code word. If someone they don’t know approaches them and asks them to come with them, the question should never be academic. Just run.

Rules About friends

Unfortunately, about half of the children abducted and murdered in the United States are taken by someone they have an acquaintance with, and sometimes know well. Nearly all of the children who are abducted and not killed are taken by a close family member or friend of the family.

Try not to get in the habit of having other people pick up your child, especially without telling your child first. Parents who do this greatly increase the chances of someone they know snatching their child, for whatever reason they have in mind.

Teach children that if anyone they know ever tries to pick them up without you telling them about it first, they should ask another adult. This won’t necessarily prevent an abduction, but it will almost always deter anyone who is thinking of a murder. Also, doing this allows school officials, or anyone else a chance to verify and check the validity of the person trying to pick your child up. Something that otherwise may have been ignored.